Solution #10: Lack of Belief

What it feels like:

I don’t really believe that I can make it in this business.

No matter what you do or what you accomplish, it just doesn’t “feel” good enough. That little voice on the inside keeps bringing up all your obstacles:

“You don’t take your art seriously enough”
“You just suck at the business stuff!”
“There is SO much competition out there you’ll never make it”

Or even more subtle:

“It feels wrong to blow your own horn”
“If you make too much of yourself, people won’t like you”
“Who do you think you are, pretending to have talent? You know they’re going to eventually figure out that you’re a fraud.”

Perhaps you can push through your negative beliefs to accomplish and overcome. But you feel like you have to push through every single time and it’s just exhausting. Kind of like Sisyphus pushing the rock up the mountain.

Does this sound familiar? Or perhaps you have a few of your own unique ways of torturing yourself. These are your beliefs. See this challenge isn’t a lack of belief. It’s having beliefs that SUCK! Beliefs that undermine you, cause you to misstep, make bad choices, and sabotage yourself.

They may not be your only beliefs and you may have really strong beliefs about your abilities, your talent and your possibility of success. But we are complex beings and you can hold conflicting beliefs, simultaneously. The real question is which belief is running the show? And how do you put the empowering beliefs in charge?

Success Solution:

This is about your belief system. What do you really believe about yourself, the universe and your place in the universe? And how can you create a positive and inspiring belief system that moves you forward and supports your confidence and self-esteem?

This is more than the woo-woo “Secret” power of positive thinking. Because you can change your surface, moment-to-moment thoughts, just by choosing different ones, in the moment. But if you don’t change your underlying belief infrastructure – you will have to remain ever-vigilant and that is a recipe for burnout!

Our beliefs about the world color all of our experiences, just as a gel changes the atmosphere on stage or reverb changes the feeling of the music. You filter every experience through the lens of your beliefs, expectations and assumptions and the resulting interpretation of that experience feels like the TRUTH. It feels like reality. But it’s not. It’s your unique interpretation of reality.

Change your Beliefs —> Change your Reality

Crazy right? But doesn’t it explain so much? How can two people have the same experience, but remember it so differently? How can two siblings grow up in the same house and end up so unique and even have different stories about what that home was like? How can two witnesses of a crime remember things completely differently? Because the data that comes in through our senses is filtered in order to be comprehended. And what information is filtered out, the color of that data, the very quality of the information is determined by your filters – which are internal.

So many of the other challenges are complicated and fundamentally influenced by the beliefs that you use to experience, define, explain, and understand your world. Addressing these beliefs in a natural, holistic manner is a foundational tool in coaching. And it is the way to solve all of the other challenges without the suffering and struggle you’ve been experiencing.

Because your beliefs create your suffering.

All Obstacles are Internal Obstacles

I believe that no beliefs are right, real or true. (And yes, I’m aware of the irony of that statement.) If no beliefs are TRUTH. Then you can pick which ones to believe. If there is no external, objective beliefs that are real, then you are free to pick the beliefs that work for you. And herein lies the basis for fundamental change.

What do you need to believe in order to build the inner strength and self esteem that will enable you to accomplish your dreams and goals? The key to achieving all of it is to become the person that has those things in her life. And the first step to becoming that person is to believe that you already ARE that person.

Start questioning your beliefs – and by question, I don’t mean, “Is this belief true?”

Instead ask:

I feel _______, what am I thinking/believing that has me feel that?
Does this belief help me get where I want to be?
What could I believe differently about these particular circumstances?
How do I feel when I’m believing that?

Recommended Actions

Read The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron and start doing the morning pages exercise. Particularly pay attention to your “blurts” – these can often clue you into your beliefs.
Read Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life – and use this method to look at your beliefs
Pay attention to the cliches you use and the declarative statements you make about yourself – what is the belief that underlies them?
Notice the beliefs of the people you surround yourself with. We tend to attract people who reflect our beliefs back to us.
Read Ask and It Is Given, then second half of the book has exercises for shifting your beliefs.